Cans of Chicken Soup
by Goblin Cat KC
Summary: Ficlet. Grocery shopping for ninja turtles. Raph::Leo. Done for a different type of flaming: inclusion on the Worst Fanfictions tmnt comm. Not that I mind so much. I got to meet Saya because of it.


**Cans of Chicken Soup **

by KC

**Summary**: Even something so simple that the humans take for granted becomes a bit of a production for the turtles. 'Cest Raph/Leo

o0o0o

Supermarkets are perversely difficult to break into. Bars on the windows, cameras at the front, electronic sensors or, more rarely in the smaller shops, a dog or two left in the shop at night.

Fortunately Consuelo's Panaderia was easy to slip into without damaging anything. Leonardo took a moment to pick the padlock on the window's hinged bars-his fingers weren't as delicate and nimble as a human's, so it took longer than he liked. He spent precious time swinging the bars open so they didn't creak, and he felt horribly exposed even in the shadows beside the shop.

"Jesus, you done yet?" came the harsh whisper from below.

In the silence, his brother's voice made Leonardo wince. He dropped the padlock and smiled at Raphael's muffled yelp.

"I'm in," Leonardo whispered back. "Be ready."

"Yeah, yeah, you shrimp..."

"Always hurt the one you love," Leonardo tossed back lightly as he eased through the small window.

"Tell yourself that when I haul you up against the wall in the shower," Raphael snapped.

Distracting memories-cold tile on his skin, hot water down his body, Raphael pressing him so hard that his head tilted back in wild abandonment- almost made Leonardo stumble into the shelves. Instead his hand slipped and he dropped sideways, barely catching himself on all fours on the floor. He took a breath and put those thoughts out of his mind for now. He could pay Raphael back for that after they finished grocery shopping.

Maybe. Paying Raphael back was getting more and more difficult as time went on. As he stood up, he was reminded why he was in here and not his brother. Raphael was simply too big to get through the window. Leonardo still fit easily, and he imagined that he always would. A head shorter than his brother, proportioned to match, he even had to look up to Michelangelo now.

He grabbed a basket from the corner and started pulling cans off the shelves. There was no time to feel sorry for himself, and besides, a smaller body was better suited for his nature. Raphael was a bruiser and a berzerker. Leonardo was an assassin, and, right now, he was a sneakthief.

They always complained that he grabbed nothing but healthy food and gave him shopping lists of junk food to pick up, but he never looked at the lists. Why bother when he knew their eating habits by heart?

Green beans, bamboo shoots, water cress and rice - Splinter.

Rice, fish (frozen, ready for the microwave and none of that battered crap), tea and Coca-Cola - himself.

Fruit (any kind, but particularly pineapple, strawberries and oranges), milk, Dr. Pepper and hot dogs - Michelangelo.

Doritos, Mountain Dew, protein bars, Gatorade, bottled water and caffeine pills - Donatello.

Pepsi, frozen meats, sausage, spam, celery and peanut butter - Raphael.

And most importantly, Arm & Hammer Double Duty kitty litter and Fancy Feast for Klunk. He tossed in a few extra bags of kitty treats and the laser pointer toy hanging on the shelf. He forced his siblings through grueling exercises to work off the excess sugar and Klunk needed the same, but the cat so far refused to learn katas.

As he passed the cash register, he tossed a handful of bills on the counter. There was a pile of fives-he wasn't sure why, but humans seemed to lose five dollar bills more often than most-along with the cash they often lifted from the gangbangers they thrashed. It probably didn't make up for the grocer having to figure out what they took, but they never found any added security measures. They were probably overpaying anyway. Or the owner pocketed it and claimed it was all stolen. Either way, they didn't go hungry.

He took the food all back to the window and whistled once. Outside, he heard the tiny rustle as Raphael stood ready to catch, and then one by one, he tossed the loot through. After several throws, the whining started.

"Aw come on," he heard Raphael whisper. "Chips Ahoy, Cheetos, something...you're killing us here."

Sighing to himself, Leonardo went back to that aisle and swept an armful of whatever happened to be on that shelf, not caring what he got. The shop was so small that it was likely to be an assortment of things that he then tossed out the window in one go. Raphael's startled protest was quickly replaced by delight and then confusion.

"Hey, you son of a-hey! Cool, chocolate chip, oreos, jolly ranchers and...what the hell's an Obleas con Cajeta?"

"Don't know, don't care," Leonardo said, coming through the window.

Leaving the grocery store was a little harder since he had to stay up in place long enough to resecure the bars and lock it again, which meant hanging partly upside down along the rain gutter. Yet another reason Raphael could never do this. The gutter would have snapped with his weight.

"Hm, not bad," Raphael said, tossing away the wrapper. "Just like a plain cookie."

Taking his share of the load, Leonardo shrugged and picked out an oreo for the trip home. As he bit, savoring the fruits of a night's work well done, Raphael looked over at him.

"Hey...did we get the chicken soup? I don't remember seeing it."

Leonardo froze, then groaned and glared at his brother. Worse, Raphael was grinning.

He'd known before Leonardo came out.

"Tol'ja I'd pay you back," Raphael laughed.

end


End file.
